Fear of Sewing

Sometimes I am paralyzed with fear when it comes to starting a new project.

Many options

Many options

Being an analyzer, I try to find reasons to explain it away. Is it due to 1) retirement, 2) menopause, 3) stress, 4) lack of confidence, 5) an attack of the “shoulds,” 6) a feeling of disempowerment that is characteristic of females in an older generation who have been brought up in conservative households, 7) feeling bombarded by too many influences?

I think, the older I get, the less time I feel that I have, so I need to fill it with something important. When I retired, I felt that I needed to pursue all those interests that had been shoved aside while I was logging 8 hours a day working for The Man. I wanted to go further into many of those interests, but I had the nagging feeling that they weren’t very crucial in my overall development as a person. Now they are represented by the nine-tenths of my daily emails that I delete without even reading. Most of them require that I spend money, which actually furthers their agenda more than mine.

Which brings me to a realization I had yesterday, Easter Sunday. I listened to Kerrie’s talk in church about how repentance isn’t a punishment. It’s a way to disengage from all that frantic scrambling to get our needs met at any cost. Oh, it’s true. I need, need, need, a “do-over” often. Let me turn around, rethink this thing. I am sorry that I’ve missed the mark. I want to try again. And it’s beautiful that I have another chance. The whole concept of the Atonement of Christ has lots of facets, lots of applications in everyday life.

One time I went to a Relationships Anonymous group. Yes, it’s just like AA, a 12-step program for people who have been in addictive relationships. We all sat around a long table in a conference room somewhere and talked about “my name is _____ and I’m a….Relationship Addict? I can’t really remember, but one lady was just overwhelmed with everyone’s story, she always said she was sorry to everyone. Why? She just seemed to feel responsible for everyone’s awful situation, failed marriage, or even just a bad day.

I go to yoga class every day, and it’s mostly exercise, asanas, but occasionally some principle of yogic wisdom is bandied about in class or in my personal study. Like the yama aparigraha, not focusing on things to prop up our egotistical sense of what it is. But even Mahatma Ghandi spun and wove and made his own clothes. At some point, I know that I can stop frantically asking the Lord for things all the time when I pray, because I realize that I already have all I want and need.

I wonder sometimes, when I see someone who’s really unhappy, just miserable, mean, confused, or wigging out…what would it take to make that person happy?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Monument

Torch of Friendship monument

Torch of Friendship San Antonio

For more WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge look here

SHHHH! a remnant Quiet Book!

Fabric remnants: what do you do with all of them?

I made some Quiet Books for three of the youngest grandkids.

cloth books

Quiet Books

I did happen to find a pattern in the pattern stash.

Rather generic-lookin', isn't it?

Rather generic-lookin’, isn’t it?

I decided to change mine up from the one in the pattern. I made the pages out of a big length of muslin I had on hand. I used some of the ideas, changed some of them, and added some completely off-beat ones. [Hi Bob! =^-^= ]

cloth book

Tying and buttoning

cloth book

Pages from a book

cloth book

Zip up the corn

cloth book

One finished

cloth book

Walk the dog

cloth books

(Velcro bird sitting on candy eggs)

Hmmm, Cadbury eggs and it can be sort of an Easter treat…

Using up remnants, not just of fabric but remnants of notions, too: ribbon, zippers, buttons, fibers. They look a little bit goofy, but I had fun. I hope the little ones have some fun with them!

Paying it Forward at the Grocery Store

rainy morning

Rainy Morning

I ran into the grocery store this morning, still dressed in my gym clothes. I was going to get some quick deli food to give someone that I knew was going to be very busy around dinner time. In a hurry, I strode toward the entrance, when I heard a little voice say “Ma’am…ma’am!” I looked over to my right and saw a little white-haired lady about 4’8″ beckoning to me. As I got closer, she said “Would you like a store coupon? I just realized I forgot to use it when I checked out. This is the second time I’ve done that lately!”

“Oh”, I said, “you can just use it next time…”

“No!” she said. “It expires tomorrow.” Then she faltered, “I mean, it’s five dollars off fifty, if you weren’t going to spend that much…” her voice trailed off.

“OK,” I said, “thank you very much!

Her eyes sparkled.

I hadn’t planned to spend fifty, but there were a few other things I could stock up on…

As I breezed through the store imagining what someone would like to eat for a quick meal, the shopping cart filled up quickly. Then, at the checkout, that pretty young mom we took an iPhone pic of with Santa last Christmas (DH plays a few Santa gigs in December) took a book of coupons out from under the counter and, right in front of the manager, scanned one that gave me another $2 off my order! The manager offered to carry my groceries out to the car in the pouring rain, but I thanked him and said it wouldn’t be necessary…

I’m thankful for sweet, kind people. <3

Beautiful Spring Day Goes Creepy

tree

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood

palm tree

a beautiful day for a neighbor, would

you be mine?

you be mine?

University Ave

University Ave

We drove out of the city, out of suburbia, past the prairie

We drove out of the city, out of suburbia, past the prairie

cemetery monument

The pet cemetery on 441

cemetery monument

RIP Prince and Benny

dead butterfly

On the path lay a butterfly, chopped in half

Weekly Photo Challenge: Street Life

early spring in suburban central Florida

Early spring in suburban central Florida

 

For more on this theme, look at WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge: Street Life

Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections

reflection in a mirror

Reflected Room of Requirement

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